1) Pick cat up & cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.

 Position left forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and

gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.

 As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth.  Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 

2) Remove pill from floor and retrieve cat from behind sofa.

 Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away Take new pill from

foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.

Gently open cat's jaws and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.

Hold mouth shut for count of ten. 

4) Remove pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.  

Call spouse / partner from garden.  

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees and hold front and rear paws.  

Ignore low growls emitted by cat.  

Get spouse / partner to hold head firmly with one hand whilst opening cat's mouth. 

Drop pill into mouth and rub cats throat vigorously. 

5) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.  

Make note to repair curtains.  

Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just

visible from below armpit.  

Put pill end in end of drinking straw.

Open cat's mouth and blow down drinking straw. 

6) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans.

 Drink one beer to take taste away.  

Apply plaster to spouse / partner's forearm and

remove blood with from carpet with cold water and soap.

Ring Fire Brigade to retrieve cat from tree across road.  

Open another beer whilst you wait.

7) Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence whilst swerving to miss the cat.  

Take last pill from foil wrap.

Fetch heavy duty pruning gloves from shed.  Push pill into cat's mouth

followed by large piece of fillet steak.

hold head vertically and squirt water down throat to wash pill down. 

8) Consume remainder of beer to dull the pain.  

Get spouse / partner to drive you to the emergency ward.

Sit quietly while doctor stitches your fingers and forearm 

and removes pill remnants from right eye.  

Make note to buy new pruning gloves. 

9) Arrange for Cats protection to collect mutant cat from hell and ring

local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

Only Joking!!!

How to give a pill to a dog:-

1) Wrap it in bacon and throw it in the air.

...................................................................................................................................................................................................

On a more serious note . . It is now recommended that a small amount of water should be given to help wash the tablet down.  A dry tablet can stick to the inside of the cat's mouth or hard palate and there is a danger of it being inhaled into the windpipe.  A new pill gun, now available from pet shops and vets, is designed to hold a drop of water so that the tablet and water can be given together.  If you have difficulty obtaining this please contact us.

Giving a pill to a cat

Hold the cat's head as shown, tilt it backwards and using the forefinger of the other hand, depress the lower jaw

Place the pill as far back into the mouth as possible

Hold the head in a normal position and stroke the cat firmly on the throat until it has swallowed the pill. Syringe 2 - 5 ml of water into the cat's mouth to encourage swallowing, or use one of the new pill guns as mentioned above.